If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Be still, my beating vagina.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
