I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
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Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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