Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
