I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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