UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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