You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
