Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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