I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
