Nicole vs. Life
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Blow job season was short but glorious.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Dick very happy bro
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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