My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
