i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
