He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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