Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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