Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
