Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
