Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
