Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
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I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
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My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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