This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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