Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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