Heybabeimwearingurpanties
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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