oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
