So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
