Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
