Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
