Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
