Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I think people are normalizing furries
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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