after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize