I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
