im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
