just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
