Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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