She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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