my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
