did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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