You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
