My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
