eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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