there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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