So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
