I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
