I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
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Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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