I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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