just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
