He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
