I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
