Me too!
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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