Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
