I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
