so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
