I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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