I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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