508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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