Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
