Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
