I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
