they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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